03.27.08
Too long of an absence
No no I am not ignoring this space. I had to go to Bombay for a week and have been catching up with work ever since I got back.
This weekend should give me some time to start writing again.
02.14.08
Fascination with Bombay Central
Okay just to tick people off – Yes, I still think it is Bombay Central and not Mumbai Central. Haha.
Growing up in India invariably meant visiting relatives during the summer vacations. For me it was either heading to Delhi (North India), Kerala (South India) or sometimes Baroda (West). Now, since we live in the Central suburbs, I was (and still am) fascinated by the western suburbs. Going to Delhi or Baroda was always special. Cool relatives. Also, it meant taking a train from Bombay Central.
What a station! I felt, as a kid, that all trains in India left from and arrived there. It felt that big. It was like Bombay VT. The tracks ended there! The trains couldn’t go any further. The same thing for the long distance trains from Bombay Central.
When I started my Masters at TN Medical College (Nair Hospital), it meant getting off at Central. I was genuinely excited. When one is walking on the bridge, you could see the long-distance trains. The bridge itself is a great place for people watching.
Good times. Good times.
PS. Next post will be on the Da Vinci days in Corvallis.
02.08.08
I miss …..
The past few days have been alternating between really busy days or absolutely lazy days. At times I am amazed by how much I can get done in a day or how I can avoid work altogether. Anyhow, my sugar and caffeine levels are dropping and I will be stepping out to get a cup of tea in a few minutes.
Staring out of the window for a bit and ….. wait …. XY just walked over to my desk here. Well she is the German technician who works in the lab and she asked me just now not to give out her name or initials. Super cool gal who is fun to work with.
Alright back to the post.
I miss:
1. Messing with new arrivals in Bombay especially when it comes to the local trains (cruel, if you haven’t done it. Not so when you have. It is fun ….. really).
2. Home-brewed beer courtesy of Rick in Oregon.
3. Playing with Nathan.
4. DG’s drunken desh bhakti. A friend who slept with the Indian flag on New Year’s eve.
5. Saying hindi gaali’s to people when I am getting out of a crowded train at Dadar. Some stupid f …. fool will hold on to the bar and refuse to get off in Dadar during peak hours. Such people rightly get slapped by everyone.
6. Conductors who never have change for you but will empty their pockets out for the babe in the bus.
7. Special cutting chai at the GK naka near SIES. (Word of advice: Never eat GK’s samosas. I have seen how they are made and its not a wonder even the cockroaches won’t eat it)
8. SP’s inability to breathe when she is laughing. She ends up combining the laughing and breathing resulting in high-pitched noises).
9. The utter respect the macchi-waalis command over regular people.
10. The gaalis that macchi-waalis give. I have seen the worst people blush over the utter crass nature of these gaalis. (These gaalis will be shared, if requested).
11. Trekking in Maharashra.
12. Being the only person who can understand what AB is saying. Now his wife (SN) can understand him too.
13. Aai’s idlis, vegetable upma and vague Tamil sayings (I think she makes them up. Hahahaha)
14. Dad’s burnt cabbage subji. We never eat it but I still miss the burnt smell which is a clear indication that he is in the kitchen and not Amma.
15. RI trying ridiculously to look cool with kids 10 years younger to him. They will call you Uncle, if you hang around kids too much.
16. Biking my way to Nilesh’s place.
Alright time for a walk and tea. Kulti.
(Translation: … too lazy to do it right now. Maybe later).
01.22.08
Need for rational thought (Was ‘Control’)
Hmm …. I thought I would somehow sidestep some of the questions I posed, by hand-waving. Didn’t work. So Tor, my good friend, asked me to answer the question I asked earlier.
Here is what she asked: “so, my question for you is: why the need for rational when you are talking about interactions with people?”
Irrationality, like laziness, is a default for me. Like everybody else, I am start imagining a lot of things when I am interacting with people. Its only when I am working, reading, writing, listening to music that I attain some focus. Music is the unusual one in the list. It is the only one that I can internalize in a short time. Coltrane.
On one hand, I think about my interactions with people and invariably have to start sifting through my thoughts just so I can try and make sense of anything.
On the other hand, I have been given a lot of second chances by people I thought would have given up their faith and hope in me. Gratitude.
Therefore, if I am rational or at least when I try to be, then it helps me understand the reasons behind the good and bad things people say or do. Understanding has the power to drive out most of the negative thoughts. This, of course, has the added advantage of having more time to think about work.
01.21.08
Thanks to Kyla
My second post of the day. Have a presentation to give on Wednesday, so all the more reason to procrastinate.
A few people have made favorable comments about my blog over the past couple of weeks. In turn, I should thank the person whose blog I read at some point and decided that I too should write.
Thanks, Kyla.
Endless repeat
Tune playing in my head, on my iPod, on my computer. ‘Dancing at Sunset’ from Karsh Kale’s album – Broken English. Reminds me of playing Pink Floyd’s Echoes for days at end. After a while, not playing the song brings an eerie silence.
A dull headache after being in the pool yesterday. Was learning the breast- and back-stroke. Learning new skills has always been mildly traumatic. The song and the headache are throbbing synchronously.
Time for a cuppa tea.
01.18.08
:-) 100 Hits :-)
Well, thank you to all the friends and family who have visited my blog. Thank you, thank you, thank you. A hundred blog hits. How cool is that! 
01.17.08
Control – 2
“Why the need to control our own thoughts?”
It is inherent in our nature to let the mind to roam around wherever. A spiritual answer would be that we have to keep it in check and focus our efforts towards a purpose. This purpose could be the completion of the task at hand to the best of our abilities. I have always leaned toward a spiritual need for the purpose. I am sure people have different views about this. To each his own.
“How much do other people’s actions or words affect our own thoughts?”
(I have to state the obvious first – I am only speaking for myself). I am very much influenced by my friend’s and family’s words and actions. Very much. Trust comes easily. With trust comes the standards I set for myself and others. This trust is an absolute blessing most of the time. A comfort during tough times. However, it can also be the wall that one builds around oneself. A wall that one builds so well that it becomes nearly impossible to break. A curse.
The dual nature of trust (that one places on others) is evident. Once this awareness comes, it would be foolish to delve into it anymore. (The dual nature of everything around us. Now that I will leave for a later time). It is crucial, according to me, to ponder on how to break free from this duality. True freedom comes when one is first aware of the chains that bind and then breaks away from the chain. Digression: (Adapted from the boy with the spoon) – Wisdom, in this case, would be to realize that there are no chains).
This brings us back to the influence other people have on our thoughts. I have now realized that it is not the other person but it is only me who reacts. It is not without but within.
To expect trust and love from others is wrong. However, when it comes to you, one should be grateful. Easier said than done. This brings us back to the first question I posited. The need to discipline one’s mind to keep itself within. To look for beauty within. If someone comes along and shares something beautiful (love and trust), then to accept it. I think this would result in the mind becoming completely open and yet not wandering. It would be open for everything – trust, love, heartbreak, jealousy, laughter, sadness, laziness, vigor. Everything.
Control
Have been waking up later than usual. The eyes open at around 5.45 and am awake around 6.15. Late for me but its great too. Had a wonderfully relaxing weekend at the Makwana home in LA.
I have been working on multiple things lately – in the lab and in my personal front. Like most other people, I get the feeling that I don’t have complete control over my things. It is the tasks in the day that control me rather than the other way around. I don’t mean this in a superficial manner but rather on the level of the mind. Once the task begins, I am completely into it physically but mentally I am all over the place.
This doesn’t mean that I do not spend quality time on my experiments. I do. My mind goes into this hyper-activity zone. I can think of a hundred different things at the same time. However, when all this involves other people, it can get quite difficult.
These days I have been questioning my need to be in control and the way it has been affecting my thought process.
Some basic questions: Why the need to control our own thoughts? How much do other people’s actions affect our own thought process? How rational are we when we react to other people’s words and actions? How much do our past experiences influence the way we feel today?
I think I might have come up with answers – right or wrong, I don’t know.
01.12.08
PhD years – For Tor (Part 1)
So much for being prompt about writing. Tor, my apologies. I can only give you an usual scientist excuse – a deadline. Better late than never, they say.
I have never thanked you. I realize that you would think I don’t really have to thank you, but I feel I should.
Thank you for being. You certainly opened my mind about a lot of things. Good experiences for me.
Anyway, you left in 2002, if I am not mistaken or was it 2003. I remember vaguely that you had finished your studies at OSU and were headed to W country. I was somewhat preoccupied with my own things to notice life around me. I was most certainly stressed about a lot of things.
2003 was a very difficult year for me. A time for getting my priorities right. Questions I had to answer for myself. ‘Did I really love science?’ ‘Was it love or was it the idea of being in love (apologies to Pink Floyd)?’ ‘Was I cut out to be a scientist?’ ‘Did I really believe in myself or was it I was reassured constantly by the confidence people has me?’
By the end of the year, I had answered all these questions.
