Man, am I in the mood for giving into requests today ….

Kyla and Aishwarya asked me if I could list some of the gaalis that I have heard women give to lecherous males in the crowded trains of Bombay. I can think of three right now:

1. Macchi-waali on the bridge. Some fool thought that he could cop a feel since she was carrying the basket. He forgot the tongue. For better effect, this is said in Marathi.

“Tuzha lav*yat ghaat ghaaleen.” (translation: I will put a knot in your dick).

The guy knew she meant it and figured it is better to say sorry and escape.

2. Woman getting off the train. Imagine the crowd. Push and shove.

“Arre haath kya lagata hai. Har aurat ko apna Maa samjha hai?” (Translation: why the f*** are you touching me? You think every woman is your mother?) (okay the f*** was not really said but creates a nice effect, no?)

3. The third was an unusual preemptive strike on the macchiwaali’s part. She is on the platform waiting for the train with her basket full of fish. This guy looks at the basket and then at the woman. She doesn’t like it. Pulls a macchi out of the basket and asks the guy in Marathi -

“ghaalu kai re …… gaan*eet?” (translation: should I shove it up your a**?)

Maybe she was just playing but then again when she asked, it sounded like she meant it.

I love Bombay.