01.17.08
Control - 2
“Why the need to control our own thoughts?”
It is inherent in our nature to let the mind to roam around wherever. A spiritual answer would be that we have to keep it in check and focus our efforts towards a purpose. This purpose could be the completion of the task at hand to the best of our abilities. I have always leaned toward a spiritual need for the purpose. I am sure people have different views about this. To each his own.
“How much do other people’s actions or words affect our own thoughts?”
(I have to state the obvious first - I am only speaking for myself). I am very much influenced by my friend’s and family’s words and actions. Very much. Trust comes easily. With trust comes the standards I set for myself and others. This trust is an absolute blessing most of the time. A comfort during tough times. However, it can also be the wall that one builds around oneself. A wall that one builds so well that it becomes nearly impossible to break. A curse.
The dual nature of trust (that one places on others) is evident. Once this awareness comes, it would be foolish to delve into it anymore. (The dual nature of everything around us. Now that I will leave for a later time). It is crucial, according to me, to ponder on how to break free from this duality. True freedom comes when one is first aware of the chains that bind and then breaks away from the chain. Digression: (Adapted from the boy with the spoon) - Wisdom, in this case, would be to realize that there are no chains).
This brings us back to the influence other people have on our thoughts. I have now realized that it is not the other person but it is only me who reacts. It is not without but within.
To expect trust and love from others is wrong. However, when it comes to you, one should be grateful. Easier said than done. This brings us back to the first question I posited. The need to discipline one’s mind to keep itself within. To look for beauty within. If someone comes along and shares something beautiful (love and trust), then to accept it. I think this would result in the mind becoming completely open and yet not wandering. It would be open for everything - trust, love, heartbreak, jealousy, laughter, sadness, laziness, vigor. Everything.
Control
Have been waking up later than usual. The eyes open at around 5.45 and am awake around 6.15. Late for me but its great too. Had a wonderfully relaxing weekend at the Makwana home in LA.
I have been working on multiple things lately - in the lab and in my personal front. Like most other people, I get the feeling that I don’t have complete control over my things. It is the tasks in the day that control me rather than the other way around. I don’t mean this in a superficial manner but rather on the level of the mind. Once the task begins, I am completely into it physically but mentally I am all over the place.
This doesn’t mean that I do not spend quality time on my experiments. I do. My mind goes into this hyper-activity zone. I can think of a hundred different things at the same time. However, when all this involves other people, it can get quite difficult.
These days I have been questioning my need to be in control and the way it has been affecting my thought process.
Some basic questions: Why the need to control our own thoughts? How much do other people’s actions affect our own thought process? How rational are we when we react to other people’s words and actions? How much do our past experiences influence the way we feel today?
I think I might have come up with answers - right or wrong, I don’t know.
